No matter your location or conversation partner, once dating comes into play, it won’t be long until someone utters those well-known words: “Everyone is meeting on the apps these days.”

Nonetheless, merely stating this does not make it a fact, and the pressure to adhere to this idea could be dissuading you from dating altogether. Dating applications are not suited for everyone, and the elevated expectations tied to them can cause feelings of diminished self-worth, vulnerability, and a cycle of urgency fueled by perceived rejection. Mashable consulted specialists for guidance on how to release these expectations and transform your dating perspective.

Alter Your Dating Mindset

If you think apps are the ultimate way to date but have started to resent them, it’s probable that you’ll soon resent dating as a whole. As mentioned in a prior piece, dating apps might not be as effective as you presume.

A YouGov study from June 2025 indicated that nine percent of individuals in the UK met their current or most recent partner via a dating app. This figure surpasses those who met through family or mutual hobbies (both four percent), yet falls short of those who met through mutual friends (15 percent), workplace connections (17 percent), or casual encounters at venues like cafes or pubs (10 percent).

These figures illustrate that while apps play a noteworthy role in the dating landscape, they are not the sole avenue for finding love. If you’re feeling disappointed about not meeting your soulmate on Hinge, your mental health might be jeopardized due to a misunderstanding.

A 2024 Forbes Health survey discovered that 78 percent of respondents felt that dating apps had drained them emotionally, mentally, or physically. The primary reason? Forty percent pointed to a lack of meaningful connections.

Even if you are enjoying the apps, maintaining self-worth while swiping can be tough. Integrative counsellor Fran Roberts notes that constant rejection from unfamiliar individuals can impact even the most resilient, and any pre-existing insecurities may serve as excuses for not connecting with someone or losing them.

Insisting on making dating apps succeed when you’re not enjoying them can harm your well-being. Therapist Shikainah Champion-Samuel explains that low self-esteem can create a negative swiping pattern. Contrary to societal assumptions, success on a dating app doesn’t inherently enhance mood and self-worth. A healthy self-image is more inclined to result in sound decisions while swiping.

Ammanda Major, clinical quality director for Relate, states that the rapid rejection often encountered on many dating apps can create a sense of urgency to make them work, which is unattractive. This can evolve into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Champion-Samuel cautions against self-critical thoughts. If you’re grappling with ideas like “I’m not attractive enough” or “I’ll never find love,” it may be time to step away from the apps and concentrate on self-improvement.

Otherwise, you risk descending into a downward spiral of low mood and worthlessness, making you susceptible to unscrupulous individuals on the next app you try.

Reassess Your Use of Apps

Paul Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship specialist, asserts that dating apps provide opportunities to meet new people but do not guarantee a fairy tale ending. Changing your perspective from pressure to potential enables you to view dating as a chance for enjoyment and personal growth.

Apps are merely a tool for you to utilize as you see fit. Whether they benefit you or not, you are not obligated to rely on them to find love in 2025.

Instead, you could initiate a conversation at a bar or ask a friend to introduce you to someone. If you’re reserved, consider reaching out to a crush through social media. You might also explore in-person singles events like speed dating, which are making a comeback and are meant to facilitate interactions.

Adjusting Expectations for Dating Apps

In addition to diversifying your dating strategies, you can continue using apps with a more balanced mindset.

Brunson highlights the importance of not allowing rejection to define you. Stay authentic and don’t attach your worth to someone else’s choices.

Let go of the pursuit of perfection. Approach dating as a journey, not a race, and it becomes far more enjoyable. Dating apps present a realm of potential, and the best connections often arise when you stop forcing them and allow events to unfold organically.

Roberts, a member of the Counselling Directory, recommends not taking app conversations too seriously until you meet face-to-face. If someone ghosts or unmatched you, remember the distinction between reality and fantasy. The reality is that you’ve been ghosted; the fantasy is the reasoning you create.

She also suggests acknowledging that we are all merely strangers online, wishing someone will take a liking to us.

Major adds that it is essential to keep in mind that these individuals don’t