When the preview for Anaconda was released, I was ecstatic. At first sight, it appeared to be an ingenious idea: Two childhood pals come together to revive the 1997 creature feature Anaconda starring Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube. With Jack Black and Paul Rudd portraying the best friends, the chances for comical misadventures looked vast. The quirky teaser suggested the comedic pandemonium the creators had in store, showcasing a bumbling amateur film crew that encounters a genuine — and remarkably gigantic — anaconda. It appeared to be an ideal treat for comedy enthusiasts, just in time for the holiday season.
I regret to bring down the enthusiasm. But this Anaconda falls short of our expectations.
Crafted by Kevin Etten and Tom Gormican, and helmed by Gormican, this chaotic reboot stumbles with its awkward attempts at wit. Instead of keeping things straightforward, the script forces in a thriller subplot that fails to thrill and offers the female characters as much substance as a shot glass.
The male characters aren’t much luckier. The unfortunate heroes of Anaconda engage in fervent discussions about what constitutes a great film, revealing that Etten and Gormican may articulate the concepts — but lack the execution.
Anaconda (2025) is not the scrappy sister film to Be Kind Rewind.
You might not anticipate a 2025 action-comedy to serve as a “spiritual sequel” to Michel Gondry’s 2008 buddy comedy featuring Jack Black, focusing on two employees of a VHS rental shop making “sweded” versions of hit films. However, the premise and Black’s casting led me to hope for a distinctive atmosphere: a tribute to dedicated filmmakers, doing their best with whatever resources they have, transforming trash into art. Instead, Gormican offers an action-comedy heavy on intrigue and light on clever in-jokes.
Black plays Doug McCallister, a lifelong resident of Buffalo who once aspired to be a filmmaker but now creates wedding videos for a living. (“It’s a B, B+ life!”) At the same time, his childhood pal, Ronald “Griff” Griffen Jr., chased his dreams of Hollywood fame in Los Angeles, only to become a struggling actor whose greatest achievement is four guest spots on S.W.A.T. But what if they could realize their dream by rebooting Anaconda in the Brazilian Amazon?
Their childhood friends, Kenny (a quirky Steve Zahn) and Claire (a sadly underused Thandiwe Newton), accompany them on this adventure, hiring a slippery snake handler (Selton Mello) and an inquisitive riverboat captain (Daniela Melchior) to film their Anaconda with an actual snake. Chaos ensues when they find themselves in the domain of a massive and aggressive anaconda. Yet while facing this danger, there’s also a group of macho men pursuing their “badass” riverboat captain for vague — and ultimately unengaging — reasons.
This is framed as a story about friendship and the love of filmmaking with pals. Nevertheless, the portion of the movie that genuinely shows Doug and his friends creating a film is surprisingly minimal. Where there could have been a charming DIY aspect to viewing the footage, Gormican shows little interest in capturing the crew in action, presenting just one lazy montage of a successful day on set.
No sooner does the colossal snake show up than they all forget they’re making a movie about the giant serpent. Despite Doug and Griff claiming to be horror aficionados, it seems they’ve never come across found footage, much less grasped the principle that you never stop filming!
Jack Black is catastrophically miscast as the straight man.
What an unusual decision Gormican makes here. You have an actor whose comedic charm is so powerful that he’s been the standout in films like Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, The Holiday, and A Minecraft Movie (not to mention School of Rock, which he headlines), and also leads a comedy-rock band known as Tenacious D. And yet, you attempt to cast him as the straight guy, who is meant to set up the punchlines for the more eccentric characters? It’s not that Black can’t do it. It’s just that it squanders his energetic dynamism and unmatched comedic genius. Anaconda feels like it stifles his potential.
He and Rudd, who has effectively played the straight man in Role Models and I Love You Man, exhibit awkward chemistry. It feels as if they are uncertain