Stephen Colbert has reacted to President Donald Trump’s threats to obliterate Iran’s power facilities and bridges. On Easter Sunday, Trump shared on Truth Social that the U.S. would strike Iran on Tuesday, insisting, “There will be nothing like it!!!” Colbert commented that Trump’s “100 percent cage-free crazy on the internet” did not foster a joyful Easter ambiance.
“Open the Fuckin’ Strait [of Hormuz], you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell — JUST WATCH!” Trump stated (emphasis original). “Praise be to Allah.”
“You know, it’s not common for a network to censor the remarks of a sitting president,” Colbert joked. “Hasn’t occurred since [President Harry S.] Truman placed that iconic sign on his desk: The bleep stops bleep.”
Quickly reflecting on Trump’s recent communication regarding Iran, Colbert pointed out that just last week the president remarked that reopening the Strait of Hormuz was not a matter the U.S. wanted to engage in. Nonetheless, the U.S. president has since set multiple deadlines for Iran to reopen the strait, threatening military action against the country’s power plants if they fail to comply. So far, Trump has postponed these deadlines each time they have come.
“At this juncture, he’s attempted every strategy except passive-aggressive parental guilt trip,” Colbert joked. “‘Well, I guess you won’t open the Strait of Hormuz before I kick the bucket. But that’s alright. I mean, who needs oil when I’m clearly never going to have grandchildren? I don’t need them. I have canasta, which would be a lovely name for a girl.'”
Colbert also kept following NASA’s groundbreaking Artemis II mission to the moon, which started facing several issues with its onboard toilet shortly after launch.
“Fortunately, the astronauts have trained thoroughly on NASA’s malfunctioning toilet simulator: a Greyhound bus,” Colbert joked. “Evidently, the issue was due to a frozen waste blockage in the toilet pipeline, which the crew resolved by rotating the spacecraft so sunlight could thaw the frozen pipe. Turns out the answer to their dilemma was to point it where the sun do shine.”