Following a hectic week filled with astonishing headlines, *Saturday Night Live*’s Weekend Update team, Colin Jost and Michael Che, found themselves with an abundance of content to delve into.

At the forefront was the *enormous* social media frenzy regarding the shooting incident involving UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thomas. True to form, the internet has become engrossed in the identity of the alleged shooter, with some users oddly labeling him as “kinda hot.”

The duo also addressed several other contentious issues, including President Biden’s choice to pardon his son Hunter, Defense Secretary nominee Pete Hegseth’s request for Senate confirmation (accompanied by a vow to stop drinking if approved), and the unexpected luck of Sprint users. This latter point arises from the revelation that the infamous hacker group saltTyphoon has seemingly focused its efforts on every major cell carrier *except* Sprint.