**Why Social Media Algorithms Complicate Breakups Further—and How You Can Navigate It**
You’re devastated and browsing through Instagram. With tear-filled eyes, you type your ex’s name in the search field. The split was tumultuous, and with shaky fingers, you press their profile and select “unfollow.” You assume this is progress toward recovery, but the following day, a tagged image of your ex appears in your feed. A friend of theirs — whom you still follow — posted it. Once more, you find yourself in tears, spiraling downward. How did this occur?
The reason? Most likely “the algorithm.” Social media users often express frustration at being presented with memories and profiles they’d prefer to avoid after a breakup. If this resonates with you, you are not alone. Scholars have investigated the reasons behind this phenomenon and what actions both users and platforms can take to alleviate the distress.
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### How Do Social Media Algorithms Function?
Social media algorithms are complex frameworks that heavily depend on user interactions. For example, Instagram employs “signals” based on your engagement with the platform and how others engage with you. Essentially, the content you encounter is a reflection of your “network” of interactions.
As noted by data scientist Kristine Snyder, algorithms form assumptions founded on long-term interaction patterns. If you abruptly cease engaging with someone you’ve frequently interacted with over the years, the algorithm won’t instantly recognize this change. “Algorithms presume those connections remain significant until there’s sufficient data indicating otherwise,” Snyder clarifies. Regrettably, this adjustment phase can be lengthy, leaving you vulnerable to unexpected reminders of your ex.
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### Why Algorithms Amplify Pain After a Breakup
Humans react to breakups with sensitivity; algorithms, in contrast, are not built with emotional understanding. “Algorithms are not usually coded to exhibit empathy,” states Snyder. In the absence of explicit signals — such as blocking someone — the algorithm persists in functioning as if everything is unchanged.
Anthony Pinter, an assistant teaching professor at the University of Colorado Boulder, examines how individuals navigate their digital environments during significant life changes like breakups. He observes that algorithms fail to accommodate the subtle changes within relationships. “It’s challenging to encode the entirety of human existence and experience into digital data as of now,” Pinter remarks.
In a 2019 study titled *”Am I Never Going to Be Free of All This Crap?”*, Pinter and his colleagues discovered that Facebook’s algorithm frequently presented distressing material linked to ex-partners, whether through the feed, groups, or the “On This Day” feature showcasing memories. The study also emphasized the complexities surrounding mutual acquaintances. Even after unfollowing or blocking an ex, one might still be connected to their friends or family, complicating the effort to fully escape their digital footprint.
“When you end a relationship, you’re also parting ways with a whole network to some extent,” Snyder points out. Unfortunately, algorithms lack the capability to identify or adjust to these intricate relational dynamics.
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### What Can Social Media Platforms Do?
“Humanizing algorithms” presents a significant challenge for social media platforms. One key obstacle is the need to balance steadiness with flexibility. Algorithms are created to focus on long-term behaviors, not abrupt shifts like a breakup. “It’s tough to modify an algorithm designed for one function to adapt to something completely different,” says Snyder.
Another challenge is the varied ways in which individuals cope with breakups. In a 2022 study, Pinter and co-author Jed Brubaker identified two types of personalities post-breakup: “archivists” and “revisionists.” Archivists aim to preserve their past memories, believing they reflect their true identity, while revisionists prefer to remove content to move forward. Crafting features that adequately serve both groups is complex, as what benefits one might adversely affect the other.
Pinter suggests that platforms could enhance archival features, enabling users to manage and curate the content in their archives more effectively. For instance, Instagram’s current archive functionality merely hides posts without allowing for straightforward management. A more advanced system could empower users to organize their memories without needing to delete them altogether.
Other potential innovations could simplify the process of unfollowing an account without requiring a visit to their profile or utilize changes in relationship status (like switching from “In a Relationship” to “Single”) to adjust algorithm-driven suggestions. However, implementing these features would necessitate users sharing even more personal information, which raises privacy issues.
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### What Can Users Do to “Adjust” Their Algorithm?
From the user’s standpoint, navigating social media after a breakup can resemble walking through a minefield. Snyder recognizes that managing this landscape is challenging for both individuals and those who create algorithms.
One approach is to eliminate data associated with your ex, although this method is not infallible. Pinter’s research showed that even participants who thought they had removed everything still encountered unwanted content suggestions. That said, creating some digital separation can be advantageous for healing. Studies suggest that distancing oneself from reminders of an ex can support emotional recovery.
Nonetheless, not everyone desires to wipe their ex from their digital existence. “Network connections are