I can count the instances of falling in love on one hand. Those times have brought great happiness—and even greater sadness. Yet, one type of love has always been a constant in my life: platonic love. This Valentine’s Day, I’m honoring the steadfast presence of that love.
I won’t be lamenting the lack of a romantic partner this Valentine’s Day. Instead, I’ll be appreciating the amazing women in my life—the ones who have shared laughter with me (and sometimes at my expense), listened to my endless rants without judgment, and provided unwavering support when life became overwhelming. My bonds with these women are far more significant than any momentary romance.
A particular memory stands out sharply. Three years ago, just before Valentine’s, I learned that a man I had recently dated—and still had feelings for—not only had a new girlfriend but was also expecting a child with her. The news rendered me numb. My first impulse was to text my friend Michelle. Without a moment’s hesitation, she told me to meet her at the gym the following morning to talk.
As I pounded away on the treadmill amidst tears, she listened attentively, confirming that my feelings were completely justified. Throughout the week, she made sure I had lunch, flashed encouraging smiles from across the office as I fought to suppress tears, and, on Valentine’s Day, quietly left a card and gift on my desk. Without Michelle, I doubt I would have bounced back so quickly. Because of her motivating words, I gathered the strength to face my ex, retrieve my remaining belongings, and leave someone who had never genuinely valued me.
I’m also particularly thankful for another friend this Valentine’s Day: Elisha. In just over a year of friendship, we’ve shared endless laughter and have been there for each other through profound losses—family members, friends, and relationships. Together, we’ve cried in several different cities.
Finding someone who can listen to you vent about the same issue repeatedly is rare. When something genuinely troubles you, it can be challenging to move forward, even knowing you’re being repetitive. I will always remember the moment I apologized to Elisha for once again bringing up the same issue. Sitting opposite me, she started to cry and said, “Rachel, if you can’t talk to me about this, then who can you talk to? Please don’t apologize.” That moment of compassion will remain with me forever.
However, female friendships aren’t solely about weathering storms. They empower us, bring joy, and remind us of the goodness in life. I am incredibly thankful for my long-distance friends—Shannon, Vicky, and Haley—who, despite being overseas, are as dear to me as my friends here in the UK. No matter the time zone, they’re always merely a FaceTime, Skype, or iMessage away, eager to join in life’s adventures. And occasionally, one of us makes the journey across the Atlantic for another unforgettable experience together. These moments enrich our lives.
This Valentine’s Day, I’m looking forward to a romantic dinner for two with someone truly special—Lizzie, my cherished friend and housemate for the past decade. Night after night, we fill our home with laughter, even after the toughest days. On February 14, I’ll be toasting to a decade filled with friendship and joy.
The support from my female friends has empowered me in ways I can’t fully articulate. They’ve made challenging times more manageable and imparted invaluable lessons about myself, relationships, and life. That’s why this Valentine’s Day, I’m prioritizing friendship over romance—because, in the end, love encompasses more than just romance. It’s about the people who stand by your side, no matter the circumstances.
*This article was originally published in 2017 and republished in 2025.*