I’ve been experimenting with dating apps for quite some time now, and the question my friends frequently pose isn’t “how does the algorithm function?” but rather “which app truly stands out?”

Recently, as we have all matured (and become more open to settling down), eharmony has crept into our discussions more often than I care to admit. It’s recognized as the go-to platform for those over 50, but its “trendy” new ads imply the company is eager to draw in a younger user demographic.

Regardless of their marketing tactics, the assertion that “every 14 minutes, someone finds love on eharmony” caught my attention. Therefore, I resolved to give it a genuine shot to determine whether its notorious questionnaire and algorithm-based matching process truly deliver. Below is a comprehensive account of my experience with eharmony, from registration to connecting with other users.

Starting your journey on eharmony

Upon downloading the app, you face two options: “Join now” or “Log in.” There’s no ability to sign in via Facebook or Google on this screen. (Considering the app’s older audience, I honestly anticipated a Facebook login to be prominently displayed.)

Next, you select your country and gender. You can choose from three options: woman, man, or nonbinary.

Once you make your selection, a note appears indicating you can “update your gender at any time.” This is commendable, given eharmony’s past reputation for being less-than-inviting to gay and nonbinary individuals. However, this sense of advancement dissipates when you are prompted, “Who are you open to meeting?” You can select women, men, or nonbinary individuals — but the app restricts you from making multiple choices. This is a significant drawback for queer and bisexual users seeking a broader selection.

If you opt to proceed, you’ll indicate what you’re seeking (casual, serious, or simply browsing) and then encounter a large consent pop-up.

The “Your Consent” pop-up that appears during eharmony’s registration process. Credit: Screenshot: eharmony

I didn’t click “accept all,” and it still allowed me to continue, so at least there’s no gatekeeping in that regard. Ultimately, the app requests you to sign up using your email address, Apple, or Google account. It’s peculiar that they place this step so far into the onboarding process rather than presenting it at the outset, but I eventually chose Google — it’s just more convenient.

You’re in. What’s next?

After successfully completing the initial registration, you’ll receive a charming welcome message: “Congrats — you’re taking the first step toward finding someone who understands you. Now, let’s see what lies ahead for you.”

This is the section we’ve all been lamenting about for years. This lengthy questionnaire is a signature feature of eharmony, and it’s what the company claims is the “secret sauce” to its successful matchmaking. The first screen is just an introduction that essentially states that to find the right person for you, the best place to start is within yourself. (I think this makes perfect sense.)

Clicking “continue” takes you to a screen with two suggestions: Spend 10 to 20 minutes completing the quiz, and trust your instincts. (I’m curious if the upcoming questions differ based on whether you selected man, woman, or nonbinary for your gender identity. It would be intriguing to see if a male user receives different wording than a female or nonbinary user.)

The welcome screen for eharmony’s renowned Compatibility Quiz, which takes about 20 minutes to finish. Credit: Screenshot: eharmony

I’m not going to detail every single question, but here’s a brief overview of the first 15 percent:

Where do you envision your ideal residence? (Regardless of your current location.)

Why are you seeking a relationship? You can select three options, including reasons like “emotional security,” “to avoid loneliness,” and “frequent intimacy” (hats off to eharmony for including that one!).

Why are you currently single? (First of all, that’s a bit intrusive. Additionally, not sure if some of you are prepared to delve into that topic.)

Would you prefer to share one bed or have separate bedrooms?

One aspect I didn’t appreciate is that if you reconsider an answer, there’s no “back” option for revisions. Once you select, you’re committed.

Moving along… the subsequent set of queries focuses on specific interests. Some are multiple-choice, while others require “exactly two answers.” It addresses basic preferences like smoking and drinking, plus lifestyle questions such as whether you favor cooking or dining out (again, curious if they ask the guys this as well). I liked that you could select “none” for sports, but it was odd that it inquired if I played an instrument but never asked which one.

Honestly, by this stage, I was ready to throw in the towel, but I’m doing this for all of you singles out there who are eager to find your lifelong match.