If you had “John Cena calmly discusses cannibalism” on your 2025 bingo card, well done! Pluribus has realized all your uniquely specific fantasies. (By the way, are you alright?)

That’s because Cena makes a brief appearance in Pluribus’ sixth installment, dubbed “HDP.” He portrays himself… sort of. In this iteration, Cena is not really a wrestler or an actor. Rather, he belongs to the global consciousness that has overtaken the planet. He’s forfeited all sense of individuality, but the silver lining is that everyone within this hive mind shares his memories of shooting Peacemaker’s introductory dance sequence, and that’s amusing, right?

Cena shows up in a video message to Carol (Rhea Seehorn) from the Others, barging into Pluribus in such an unexpected way I questioned whether I had stumbled upon a forgotten John Cena meme montage from 2015. Honestly, I half anticipated hearing the trumpets from his entrance tune blaring as soon as he began speaking.

However, there’s no room for memes here. Pluribus’ Cena has something significant to communicate to Carol about: cannibalism.

In Cena’s video, he elucidates the rationale behind the Others resorting to cannibalism and blending human remains into their small milk cartons. The reason? They must do so to stay alive.

The Others cannot harm or kill any living being, including plants. This restriction limits their food supplies on Earth. They can utilize the vast quantities of food processed before their arrival, but even that is insufficient to address the caloric shortfall confronting the billions within the hive mind.

The answer? Incorporating human bodies into their meals. For the Others, anyone who passes away of natural causes contributes to their food supply. Why bury a corpse and squander all that flesh?

Consequently, eight to twelve percent of the liquid in the Others’ milk cartons consists of Human-Derived Protein (HDP). Do the Others actually wish to consume this? Absolutely not, Hive Mind Cena assures Carol. They also will never coerce Carol into consuming HDP under any circumstances. What a relief!

The Others frame cannibalism as practical and rational, with the video message containing informative graphs, stock footage, and numerous wipe transitions. (Which member of the hive mind handled Cena’s video editing? Was it Cena himself, tapping into others’ memories of using iMovie?) Yet their congenial spokesperson cannot escape the reality: This is horrific, just like their invasion. The Others may attempt to portray it as merely an unfortunate aspect of existence, but the truth remains that they haven’t only violated human minds by overtaking them. Now, they’re desecrating bodies, too. All because they can’t, as Carol points out, “pick a fucking apple.”

As distressing as the HDP revelation is, it’s undeniably entertaining to observe Cena embody the cheerful demeanor of the Others. The line “We’re John Cena” had me laughing uncontrollably, both because it’s amusing, and because the strangeness of the situation made laughter seem like the appropriate response.

With this role, Cena joins a bustling array of celebrities portraying themselves on television in 2025. Apple TV’s The Studio is teeming with actors and directors poking fun at their own personas, while new comedies such as Overcompensating, Adults, and I Love LA have enlisted the talents of Charli XCX, Julia Fox, Quenlin Blackwell, and Elijah Wood to depict exaggerated representations of themselves.

Yet when it comes to sheer oddity, you truly can’t surpass alien virus hive mind John Cena clarifying why consuming processed human remains from a milk carton isn’t merely acceptable, but essential. The bar has been set high, so if your forthcoming celebrity cameo doesn’t include at least one Soylent Green reference, send it back to the drawing board!

Pluribus is now available for streaming on Apple TV, with a new episode releasing every Friday.