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I was preparing for a night out when my phone buzzed with a text from an unfamiliar number. The message kicked off with the classic opener: “Hey girlie.”

“I’m Danny’s girlfriend, and I found some messages from you on his phone. Could you help me out?” it said.

The term *girlfriend* halted me in my tracks. My heart raced as I opened the message, my thoughts already spiraling.

Danny (not his real name) and I had been casually exchanging sultry messages after connecting on Hinge. It was nothing serious—just a little distraction during a busy work period when I couldn’t manage real dates. However, I now found myself questioning what this woman had discovered. My stomach twisted as I recalled the nature of our chats.

Without a second thought, I dialed the number, my nerves bubbling beneath the surface.

“I’m so sorry—I had no clue he had a girlfriend,” I blurted out as soon as the call connected.

“It’s fine,” she answered calmly. “You’re actually one of many.”

She went on to explain that she and Danny were cohabiting and even contemplating buying a house. However, she had recently uncovered that he had been messaging and sending explicit content to multiple women—none of whom were aware of her presence. The truth emerged when Danny unintentionally synced his iPhone to her laptop, leaving behind a trail of damning screenshots. I winced at the thought of what she might have seen.

Later, she messaged me again, indicating that she had confronted Danny about our discussion, and he hadn’t reacted positively. That was all the information I needed. I resolved that I didn’t owe him any further clarifications. I blocked his number and continued with my day. The relief was instantaneous.

Until that moment, I had rarely utilized the block feature. I previously thought blocking someone was excessively severe, but reflecting on it, I realized it was likely due to my difficulty in establishing boundaries. Since then, I’ve gained insight that certain situations require strong limits.

So, when is it appropriate to block someone? And are there instances when it might be excessive? Let’s delve into it.

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### When Their Behavior Crosses the Line: Block ✅

If someone displays disrespect, abusive behavior, or causes you to feel unsafe, blocking is entirely warranted. Trust your instincts—if their actions send up red flags, you are not obligated to grant them access to your life. This includes harassment, unwanted messages, or anything that leaves you feeling uncomfortable. Your safety and peace of mind are paramount.

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### After a Breakup: Block ✅

Blocking can serve as a powerful mechanism for recovery following a breakup. Relationship expert Annabelle Knight states that blocking essentially acts as a digital boundary. It’s particularly beneficial if you’re tempted to check your ex’s social media or initiate contact, as this can prolong the healing period.

“Blocking enables you to close communication lines, avoid their content, and prevent them from seeing yours,” Knight explains. “It’s no different from steering clear of an ex in reality—it’s merely a modern means of establishing boundaries.”

Many individuals find it advantageous to go “no contact” post-breakup. This involves cutting all forms of communication, encompassing texts, calls, and social media engagements. It may even include unfollowing shared friends or family members to circumvent reminders of the former relationship.

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### Blocking to Get a Reaction: Don’t 🚫

If you’re tempted to unblock someone after blocking them, consider your motivations. Are you seeking attention? Hoping they’ll notice and reach out? Using blocking as a method of punishment? Such behaviors can be counterproductive and emotionally draining.

Relationship counselor Sophie Personne cautions against the “yo-yo” method of blocking and unblocking. “It’s manipulative and controlling, as it limits communication on your terms,” she notes. Instead, concentrate on establishing firm boundaries.

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### Avoiding Difficult Conversations: Don’t 🚫

Blocking shouldn’t serve as a means to evade uncomfortable dialogues. For instance, if you’re dating someone and decide you’re not interested, don’t block them to escape rejection. Similarly, if plans have been made but you wish to cancel, don’t ghost them by blocking their number. Honor their time and emotions by being truthful and straightforward.

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### Using Blocking as a Threat: Don’t 🚫

Blocking should never be employed as an ultimatum or a form of manipulation. “It’s crucial to make the choice to block someone based on your own requirements, not as a tactic to control or intimidate them,” Knight explains. Maintaining healthy communication is always a superior approach when attempting to resolve disputes or set boundaries.

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### Taking a Temporary Pause for Healing: Block ✅

If you’ve concluded things amicably but need space for healing, blocking can still be a valid option. To prevent any misunderstandings, you might consider informing the other person in advance. “A simple