Sexting can be thrilling and pleasurable when executed properly, yet it can also lead to discomfort. You might ask yourself questions like “Is this a suitable moment to sext?” or “What should I communicate?” To help with these concerns, we turned to professionals. Sexting, akin to sexual activities, provides an avenue for self-expression, desire exploration, and a deeper connection with your partner.

How to engage in sexting: Sexting can enrich both fresh connections and casual encounters. Communicating your desires and limits can strengthen bonds. As noted by Casey Tanner, a licensed sex therapist and LELO expert, texting is frequently less daunting than direct conversations, particularly for individuals who feel shy discussing sexual topics. Nonetheless, sexting remains a form of communication. Exchanging tantalizing messages can serve as foreplay, heightening excitement for upcoming in-person meet-ups.

How to seek consent while sexting: It is crucial to secure consent for sexting overall and for each individual interaction. Edwina Caito from BedBible recommends establishing trust with your partner prior to sexting. Reflect on your comfort zone and style, whether playful, risqué, or suggestive. Talk about the boundaries, such as appropriate moments for sharing nudes or preferred messaging platforms like Snapchat or Signal, which provide features such as disappearing messages. Set clear expectations regarding the language employed in sexts, and always verify consent before dispatching explicit material. Utilize a standard emoji to inquire if it’s an appropriate time for sexting. Never disclose your partner’s messages or content without their approval.

How to initiate sexting discussions: Tanner advises commencing with brief, engaging messages to smoothly transition into sexting. The opening messages can be flirtatious and ignite curiosity. Examples might include “I’m in bed and can’t help but think of you” or “I can’t shake off the memories of what we did the other night.” Pose questions like “What would you do if you were right here with me?” to sense your partner’s mood. Be straightforward if that aligns with your approach, or employ classic phrases like “What are you wearing?”

Suggestions for effective sexting: Be as explicit as you wish, whether using euphemisms or direct phrases. Caroline Spiegel from Quinn recommends framing messages by conveying feelings and desires. Inquire about fantasies but avoid feeling obligated to divulge everything. Steer the discussion back to what excites you. Offer compliments to demonstrate attentiveness, employing their actual name for additional influence.

How to share enticing voice notes and videos: Introduce various media for a more dynamic experience. Use iMessage or WhatsApp to transmit voice notes, which can feel more personal than images. Listening to your partner’s voice can be motivating. Send pictures, videos, or leverage FaceTime if necessary. GIFs and emojis are also beneficial. Consider app-controlled sex toys for long-distance engagements, even though connectivity challenges may occur. Similar to physical intimacy, discovering a rhythm in sexting requires time. Articulate your desires to simplify the process. Sexting facilitates the exploration of fantasies and creativity at your fingertips.

This piece was initially published in 2021 and reissued in 2026.